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Feeling my way

"Feeling my way through the darkness, guided by a beating heart
I can't tell where the journey will end, but I know where it starts
They tell me I'm too young to understand, they say I'm caught up in a dream
Well life will pass me by if I don't open up my eyes, Well that's fine by me"



I was reading A Day in the Life of a Hockey Wife the other day and found myself nodding in agreement when she spoke of why she hasn't been blogging lately.

Now, clearly, I am not a hockey wife. But once upon a time I thought I might end up one (and it was during that time that I found this blog). But that's another story. And one that I've never shared with this blog.

And it got me started thinking about what I don't share with this blog. I share a good deal, some of it extremely personal, but most of it not. To an extent, I know who reads my blog. Family, friends, people I work with. I've always been a very private person. But living so far away from home I started this blog so everyone would know what was going on in my life.

But mostly I post the sunshine and rainbows part of my life. With the exception of my two, yes two, robberies. I don't talk about my relationships, or lack thereof at the moment. Only once in a while will I write about what's going on at work. I have all these unpublished posts that, to me, are far too personal to share with the world. Because you never know who's reading.


But I do love to blog. I feel bad if I go several days without writing a post. Maybe one day I will talk about everything, completely lose my censor, but let's start small first. 

My life is slow out here. Super busy at work at the moment, but that's all that's going on my life right now. That is to say, I have no life outside of work. Because when you're a grown adult and you move to a new city, let's face it, it's not that easy to make friends.

In Indy it was easy. First it was the interns, then the other people in the office who moved into town for work and finally meeting people at Ann Taylor bc I had to have a second job. Stamford was less easy, it took a little longer, but it was a cute city and oh, so close to NYC. In Houston there are only 10 other people in the office. And they all have family, roots, friends here already. With the exception of the ED, everyone is from Texas.


But right now, right at this moment, I want to be alone. I like being alone. But. That doesn't mean that I'm not lonely.


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