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Family relationships

Warning. I did not censor this post. 

I was talking with the twin one day right after she moved to Denver. We were talking about my current relationship status with our parents. And she told me that we were the ones that moved away, so if we wanted to keep that relationship going, then we were the ones who had to make all the effort.

I think that's bullshit, we're family. You should want to talk to me too. Just because I don't live 20 minutes away should not make me less of a priority.

But unfortunately it seems my family agrees with her. Because since I've stopped making daily or weekly phone calls, there's a lot of people I haven't talked to.

When I found out that my parents were going to Colorado for Thanksgiving, I was crushed. TEN years I've lived away and do you know how many holidays have been spent with me where I live? NONE. Twin moves away and three months later the holiday is with her. Yes, it was in Steamboat and she lives in Denver. But holidays have always been home. No exceptions. And when I asked about it, the response was...well, you never asked us to come to you for a holiday. 

And I might be ok with that (the whole less talking thing). For now. I've been pretty tight with my family for my whole life. We've had our ups and downs, but it's never been like this before. Because I'm not putting in 110% of the effort anymore.

I used to talk to my mom every day. And I made 99.5% of those phone calls. Now that I'm not making those calls, it's been over a week since the last time we spoke.

Don't get me wrong. My parents have done some pretty amazing things for me in my lifetime. Through multiple moves, the loss of a job and a myriad of other things, they were there for me. But why can't they be there for me on the every day?

And I don't even want to get into my other sister. Because who doesn't love finding out through text message that you are no longer needed as your nephew's godmother? Sorry. That at least deserves a phone call.

I may not be the best daughter or the best sister, the best cousin or the best niece, but for the last 10 years I feel like, on the day to day, I'm the one who's been putting out most of the effort. I'm tired.But I'm STILL HERE. I am still your daughter, sister, niece, cousin.

But I'll be on hiatus from making any phone calls for a while I think. Feel free to call me though.


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